


Tangled Webs

by scruffandyarn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M, Swearing, Tumblr Prompt, canon-esque killing of a demon, reader gender not specified, reader!hunter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 10:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4134285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scruffandyarn/pseuds/scruffandyarn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Balthazar had one job.  </p><p>based off a request sent to angelsxreader.tumblr.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tangled Webs

“The threat must be eradicated as swiftly as possible.”  


Balthazar rolled his eyes at the angel in front of him.  Humans with an angel blade wasn’t anything to rejoice over, but even a fledgling would know that these humans harming angels with said blade would be a huge problem that needed to be taken care of.

“I’ve got it.” He responded with little concern. It wasn’t that he wasn’t worried–he just hated that his brother seemed to think he was too thick to understand.

“It is of utmost importance that you proceed with caution.”

“Really? Because it’s not like five wounded angels is a big deal or anything.”

“Brother, I am not sure you are taking this matter as seriously as you should.”

“No, I think I am. I think it’s you, standing here, insulting my intelligence, who is not taking this the right way.”

“Balthazar, I was the one who gave the orders.” Michael was suddenly in front of him, and Balthazar and the other angel immediately bowed their heads, showing reverence. “I do not want any more of our brothers and sisters to fall victim to these humans. It is important that we handle this matter as swiftly and efficiently as possible so as not to cause any more concern than absolutely necessary.”

“Right.” Balthazar sighed. He missed serving under Gabriel’s command–at least that archangel knew how to have fun.

“Make sure that you stay safe. It would do Heaven no good to have more incapacitated soldiers.”

With that, Michael was gone.

“Love you, too, brother.” Balthazar griped, rolling his eyes, yet again.  “What I don’t understand is…if Michael has sent other angels after these humans already, why am I the only one being sent out?  Why not just wipe these bugs off the planet and be done with it?”

“Michael wants you to handle it because you are the best candidate for infiltrating their ranks.  The others who have been sent were detected immediately as angels and are now being treated for their injuries.”

“Great.  So when they skewer me, I hope Michael has at least a few kind words to say to commemorate me.”

The other angel nodded.  “Godspeed.”  And was gone.

“Seriously?”

  


  


You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.  Someone was following you.  Instinctively, you reached into your jacket and wrapped your fingers around the hilt of the blade you kept there.  You kept your other hand loose, ready to snatch your gun out of its holster if that’s what the threat required.

“Hello?”

The accent threw you and you hesitated a moment before ducking completely into the shadows.  Once you knew you could do so without being seen, you turned and waited, watching as a man cautiously stepped closer to where you were hiding.

“Hello?  Did someone come this way?” The idiot called out into the night.  “Look, I’m just trying to find my way back to the interstate.  I thought I saw someone coming this way…and now I’m pretty sure I’m just shouting at nothing.  So if there’s someone out there, could you please at least acknowledge me so I don’t feel like a complete imbecile?”

It felt like several minutes passed before he finally gave up and headed back the way he came.  You followed him, making sure to stay hidden, as he made his way back to the road.  There sat a rather expensive looking vehicle–or, rather, what had been an expensive looking vehicle.  

The glow from the closest streetlight showed that the two tires in your view had been slashed.  The driver’s window had been smashed in and the paint job had been etched into.  

“Damn it!” The man ran the last few steps to his car, spewing a stream of profanity as he circled around it, taking in all of the damage.  “I was gone for five fucking minutes!”

Sighing, you stepped out of the shadows.  “Looks like you left your car in the wrong spot.”

The man jumped at the sound of your voice, and it helped to ease your suspicions.  Creatures could hear you coming.  And demons and angels simply sensed your presence.  So this guy had to be human.

“I knew I saw someone!” He whipped around and you could see the rage in his features.  “Why wouldn’t you answer me?  I could have been back to my car and these–these hooligans wouldn’t have had time to damage it!”

“You really think I’m just going to let some strange guy with an accent get the jump on me?” You glared at him, keeping track of his every movement.  Just because he wasn’t a supernatural being didn’t mean he wasn’t a threat.  “It’s bad enough, having to walk by myself in the dark.  How was I supposed to know you weren’t going to hurt me?”

His rage faded into something akin to sympathy.  “And yet, you decided to come out now?”

“Well,” you looked down at his broken car before shrugging.  “You seem to be having a bit of bad luck, what with getting lost and then this.  I figure, if you did try to attack me, you’d probably trip over your own feet.”

He barked out a sardonic laugh.  “That’s probably true.” He looked back over his car and groaned.  “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Call a taxi?”

“Yes, and I’m sure your taxi drivers here take euros.”  He ran his hand through his hair.  “I should have known not to max out my credit on this worthless piece of junk.” He kicked the closest flattened tire.

“Probably would have been smart.” You nodded.

“I need to call the sheriff and the insurance company.”  He reached into his pocket before frantically patting down his jacket and pants.  “Shit!”  He leaned through the busted window and glanced around the car.  “Shit shit shit!”

“Here.” You pulled out your own cell phone and handed it to him.

He nodded his thanks as he began punching in numbers.  He held the phone to his ear and frowned.  “Forgive my ignorance, but what is the emergency number here?”

“9-1-1.” You couldn’t help but smile.

  


You weren’t sure what made you stay through the police reports and the tow truck, but you did, sitting on the curb, watching the fluster of activity that had nearby residents poking their heads out of their windows to see what all the excitement was about.

  


“No one saw anything!” He flopped down on the curb next to you, frustration radiating off in every direction.

“It’s the middle of the night.  Not many people out and about now, unless they’re up to no good.”

“You’re out and about.” He pointed out, cocking an eyebrow.

“True.” You shrugged.  “So are you.”

“I was just looking for help.”

“Maybe I was just trying to get home.”

He studied you for a moment.  “So you live around here?”

“No.” You shook your head.  “Just passing through town.  I was on my way back to my motel room, though.”

“Well, thank you for helping me out…eventually.  I’d offer you a ride to your motel, but, uh…yeah.”

“I’m good.” You smiled.

“Don’t suppose you’d be alright with me following you back to your motel, would you?”

“Why?”

“Well, I was supposed to make it to Boise tonight, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.  And sleeping right here doesn’t seem preferable.”

“How are you going to rent a room if all you have is euros?”

His face fell.  “You think maybe they’ll take pity on a lost boy so far from home?”

This had you laughing.  “You can always try.”

  


On the way to the motel, you both introduced yourselves properly.  You learned his name was Ian and that you liked the way your name sounded in his accent.  When you finally made it back, you left him to fend for himself with the clerk and headed to your own room.

  


“What a freaking night.” You sighed as you got ready for bed.  You tucked your blade and your gun away, but still within easy reach.

Just before you crawled onto the less-than-comfortable mattress, there was a knock on your door.  You grabbed your gun and edged cautiously towards the door.  Looking through the peep-hole, you noticed it was Ian standing on the other side.

“Just a sec!” You hurried back to hide your gun before opening the door.  “D’you get a room?”

“Yes.  I’m right next door to you.  I hope you don’t mind–I asked the young man at the desk which room you were in.  It’s always nice to see a familiar face in the morning.”

“Look, Ian–I’m only in town until I finish the job I’m currently on.  And you’re off to Boise.  I don’t want you to get the wrong idea–I don’t do friends.”

“Everybody needs friends.”

He looked so damned earnest that you almost wanted to believe him.

“Sorry, bucko.  It doesn’t work like that.  Not for me.”  You started to close the door but he put his foot out to block it.  “Look, I don’t know what you want, but whatever it is, you won’t find it here.”

“Just breakfast.  That’s all.  I’ll have my cousin wire me some money and I’ll even pay.”

You were about to decline when your stomach began to rumble.  Apparently, the mention of food reminded your body that it had been a few hours since your last meal, and it would be at least another twenty-four hours before you could collect payment and eat again.

“Fine.  But after that, you go your way, and I go mine.”

“Sounds perfect.”

  


  


Breakfast the next morning went as well as could be expected.  You ate, let Ian do most of the talking, shot him down anytime he tried to flirt with you…it wasn’t terrible, just a little too close to normal for your tastes.  Your life hadn’t been normal for a long time.  And it wasn’t going to be all apple pies and white-picket fences after one meal.

  


When Ian bid you adieu–literally, you went back to your motel and got to work. 

A fellow hunter had called you last week to see if you could take care of a rogue vampire here.  Usually, one vampire wouldn’t be too much trouble for any hunter with experience, but some of the happenings in the area had you worried.  If it was just a vampire, it wouldn’t explain the reports of sulfur saturating the air whenever a body was found.  Something demonic was happening, and you needed to figure out what.

  


You didn’t leave your motel room until after eleven that evening.  According to the reports you’d read, the kills happened at night, so you’d waited.  Then you’d packed up your blade and your gun and headed to the location of the last death.  Hopefully, with Ian long gone, you wouldn’t be interrupted again.

  


“Mother fucker.” Of course–right in the middle of an intersection.  “Alright, you little blood-sucker.  Time to come out and play.”

“You know, most hunters–smart hunters–they actually hunt.  They don’t go right into the devil’s lair.”

The air filled with the smell of sulfur.  Your hands immediately went to your blade and your gun, drawing both of them out.  The vampire’s eyes widened and he began to back away from you.

“Why must you always–what is this?”  The newly manifested demon took one look at you and turned to glare at the vampire.  “You summon me to fight a human with an angel blade?!?!”  He advanced on the vampire.  “Do you have any idea how deadly those things are to my kind?”

“I–I didn’t–” The vampire stuttered and held his hands up in submission.

The demon groaned before snapping his fingers, completely disintegrating the vampire.  “Right.  Well, I’ll be off then.”

Before he could disappear, you pulled the trigger of your gun, the bullet hit him square in the chest.  

“OK, now you’ve just gone and pissed me off.”  The demon snapped his fingers again, but nothing happened.  He stared at his hand for a moment and tried snapping again.  Still nothing.

“Demon trap etched on the bullet.”  Your lips slid into a sly smile.  You needed to remember to thank those hunter-brothers the next time you ran into them for passing this idea on to you.

“Damn it!”

You advanced on the demon and had your blade ready to strike–

“______!”

Ian’s voice distracted you just enough that you were suddenly tumbling backwards, thanks to the punch the demon had landed on your cheek.

“Fuck!”  You looked up to see the demon grinning at you.  You shook off the dizziness that had accompanied the blow and pushed yourself up from the ground.  Then you jammed the angel blade into his gut, enjoying the satisfaction of watching him sizzle out.

“What the hell?”

“What the hell are you doing here, Ian?  You’re supposed to be in Boise.”  You yanked your blade from the body and spun to face him.  

His eyes were wide in horror.  “You just killed–”

“A demon.  I just killed a demon.  Now, what the hell are you doing here?”  The last thing you needed was to have law enforcement on your tail.  What the fuck was this guy’s problem?

“I came–holy shit–I came to see if I could persuade you to join me in Boise next weekend and–fuck, you just killed someone.”

“Deep breaths, man.  He was a demon.  You know–like from hell.”  What on earth made you tell him that?  You were a seasoned hunter.  You knew better than just dropping the truth on a civilian.

“A demon?”  He said it slowly, as if trying to process it.  “A demon–was that what was killing all those people in town?”

“You know about that?”

“I may be a tourist, but I still read the news.  There’s this app on my phone that told me all the news of the towns I’d be travel–” he shook his head.  “And you just killed him.  Maybe you’re the one killing all those people.”

“Fuck, I need a drink.”  You groaned.  “If you read anything about the deaths in town, you’d know they were all caused by exsanguination, not stabbing.  This guy was aiding and abetting a vampire.”

“Vampire?”  He scoffed.  “Did you just say vampire?  Are you on some kind of medication or something?”

“Look, believe it or not.  I don’t care.  But give it a few days and there’ll be a new article on how the ‘mysterious deaths’ suddenly stopped.”

“Yeah, when they have you behind bars.”  He began to pat down his pockets.  “Shit.”

“Forgot your phone got jacked?”  You smiled.

“Um…______, you…” he started to back away from you.  “You don’t want to kill me.  I promise, I won’t say anything to anyone.”

“Would you relax?  I’m not going to kill you.  Unless you’re some sort of supernatural creature, you’re fine.”

He eyed you with suspicion.  “Seriously?”

You sighed, tucking your gun and blade away.  “Honest.  I’m here to slay demons and vampires.  Not stupid humans with horrible timing.”

“Vampires?”

You nodded.  “And demons.  You saw the way he kinda sparked when I stabbed him, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Demon.  That’s what happens when they get stabbed with the blade I have.”

“What’s so special about the blade you have?”

“It’s–” how to explain this? “It’s a special blade.  Takes care of all the supernatural baddies.”

“And this–chasing down demons and vampires–this is what you do?  You just travel around and save people with this special blade you have?”

“Yeah.”

“Is this why you think you have to go the ‘no friends’ route?”

“Hunting these creatures…doesn’t allow for a lot of friends.  Either they don’t believe me and think I’m crazy or they get killed.  So, it’s better just to not have any.”

“Must get lonely.”

“Meh.”  You shrugged and began walking.  You were surprised when Ian followed you.  “OK, dude–you just saw me kill someone.  Why the hell are you still bothering me?”

“I–I know it’s mad, but my mother, she believed in things like this.  Swore my entire life that supernatural creatures existed.  She said she was a witch, herself, so she knew these things were real.  I just–I don’t think you’re crazy.  But something about you–you have me so completely transfixed on you, I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire drive out of this town.  I had to come back.  Screw the mileage on the rental–I had to come back to see you.”

“Ian,” you sighed and bit your lip.  What the hell about him had you so transfixed as well?  “I can’t.  I can’t risk your life.”

“I’m not asking you to.  Just–Boise, this weekend?  Please?”

“I’ll think about it.”

  


  


You stared at the piece of paper with Ian’s hotel information on it.  You’d thrown it in the motel’s waste basket at least a hundred times since he’d given it to you.  Each time, you hadn’t gone five minutes before retrieving it.

But there you were, Sunday evening, standing in the hallway in front of his room.  You tried to force your brain to stop overthinking as you reached up and knocked.

  


“______?”

“Hey.”

“I didn’t–I wasn’t sure you were going to come.”  He smiled warmly.  “Come in?”

“I can’t–I can’t stay long.  I have another job I have to head to.”  You followed him into the fancy digs of his room, trying not to gawk at the lavishness.  “That motel room you had next to me must have given you nightmares if this is what you’re used to.”

“A little.”

You smiled at the face he made.  “I just needed to say, thanks for the offer.  I just can’t do the friends thing.  I can’t risk getting attatched and losing anyone else.”

“A lover?”

“No–she was my best friend…” you paused.  “Actually, she was more like a sister.  We grew up together.  And then, one day,” you sighed.  “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”

“Might help to get it off your chest.”  He offered with a hopeful smile.

“Maybe.”  You sighed again.  “They kept calling her an ‘abomination.’  Said she didn’t deserve to live.  That she should never have been born.  That her mother was a lowly human and should never have been bred.”

“What?”

“Her father was an angel.  Not the man I knew to be her dad–her actual father.  He’d had some sort of relationship with Macy’s mom and Macy was a ‘nephilim.’”  Tears began to spill from your eyes.  “They didn’t even care that I was there, in the apartment with her.  Told me I would serve as a warning to all humans who dared to believe they were worthy of an angel.  Left me with these.”  You lifted up the side of your shirt to show him the scars from where they had slashed you with their blades.

“Fuck.”

You took several moments to get your emotions back under control before you spoke again.  “Her mom came to visit me in the hospital.  Said she never thought Michael would let something like this happen to Macy.  Then she gave me the blade I have.  I don’t know how she got it, and she wouldn’t tell me.  She just told me she wanted me to be safe.”

“Michael.  As in, archangel Michael?”

“Yeah.”

His brow furrowed.  “That still doesn’t explain how you got started hunting these creatures.”

“A hunter–this old guy–came to the hospital to interview me.  Said he was with the FBI.  I asked him what the hell the FBI was interested in me for.”  You rolled your eyes at the memory.  “He had some bullshit answer, but I knew something was off about him.  Long story short–I managed to convince him to take me on as an apprentice.  He thought I was off my rocker–kept saying angels didn’t exist, but he still trained me.  And now, here I am.  Hunting solo.”

He took a few minutes to digest everything you’d told him.  When he was still silent, you stood to leave.  This wouldn’t be the first time someone thought you were insane.

“______, wait.”  He stood and took your hands in his.  “This is just–it’s a lot to take in.  It’s not that I don’t believe you–”

“You just don’t believe me.”  You tried to pull your hands from his, but he held firm.

“Not at all.” He insisted.  “I mean, if demons exist, surely the stories I learned, whenever my grandmother would drag me to church, are true as well.”

“I thought you said your mother was a witch.”

“My father’s mother–she wanted to save me from the pits of hell my mother was trying to drag me to.”  He flashed a sad smile.  “I believe you.  Completely.  It’s just…hard to wrap my mind around the idea that angels would do something like this.  The Bible makes them out to be such caring and compassionate beings.”

“It’s what I learned when I was young.”

“Were you ever able to find them?  The angels who killed your friend?”

You shook your head.  “No.  But the angels know I have this blade.  A few of them have tried to take it from me.”

“And you killed them like you killed that demon?”

“No.  Wounded them, yes.  They underestimated me.”  You bit your lip.  “I know I can’t take on the hordes of heaven.  I wouldn’t want to, even if I could.  I would love to see the angels who murdered Macy meet her fate, but I’ve wised up enough to know that’s not going to happen–at least, not at my hand.  I’ve accepted it.  I just–I want to be left alone, to do what I do.  I can’t save Macy, and I can’t bring her back.  But I can save other people.  I can save someone from going through what I did.  From losing what I lost.”

“So, what’s stopping you?”

“The angels don’t want me to have the blade.  They think it makes me too powerful.  Too much of a threat.  Maybe they’re overestimating me now.”  You shrugged.  “But this–this is why I can’t do the friends thing.  I won’t risk losing anyone else should more angels decide to take me out completely.  I don’t want anyone else to go through what I did, should they get caught on the sidelines.”

“Then teach me.  Teach me to hunt like that old man taught you.”

“Did your witch-mother put some kind of ‘stupid’ curse on you?” You threw your hands up in exasperation.  “I just got through telling you why this won’t work.  And why the hell are you so interested in being around me, anyway?  A week ago, you didn’t even know I existed.”

He smiled.  “You stayed.”

“What?”

“You loaned me your mobile and you stayed through the mess with the police and you let me follow you to your motel room even though I was just some strange guy with an accent.  Not many people in this world who would do that.  But you did.  You care about other people.  If more people cared the way you do, can you imagine how much better life would be, for everyone?”

“Are you some sort of undercover evangelist or something?”

He blushed.  “No–I just–I want to do that.  I want to give people that hope you gave me when you held out your phone to me.  You made me feel like maybe there was something worth hoping for, even while everything around me had just gone to hell.”

“Ian–”

“Please?  Just on a trial basis, at least?”

You smiled at the hopefulness in his voice.  This must have been how Rufus felt when you’d begged him to teach you how to hunt.  And just like him, in spite of all the misgivings, you nodded.

  


  


Six months later…

  


“Ian, get out here and help me!”

You and Ian had found a small house for rent just outside of Boise and set up a home-base of sorts.  You still traveled around and hunted, but now, with the money Ian had from selling whatever business he’d had, you could afford a more permanent roof over your head and a steadier influx of groceries.

And said groceries needed to be moved from your truck to the kitchen.

“That man better be glad I love him.” You mumbled to yourself when he still hadn’t arrived to help.

The love thing–that had surprised the hell out of you.  Honestly, it still kind of surprised you, and scared you.  You hadn’t meant to fall for him.  Love was just one more complication you didn’t need.  But he’d managed to weasel his way into your heart.  The little shit.

With your hands full, you headed to the front door.  It took a bit of juggling, but you managed to get the door unlocked and open.  As soon as you stepped inside, a chill ran up your spine.  You dropped the bags as quickly and quietly as possible before hovering your hand near your blade.

“What is the meaning of this?”  The male voice was off.  Something about it made your skin crawl.

In the living room, Ian was standing next to a man you’d never seen before.  And for whatever reason, the man was wearing a suit.

“______.” Ian paled. “Get out, now.”

You were not about to leave him alone with whoever this fucker was.  “Ian–”

“Ian?”  The other man scoffed.  “Ian?  That is the best you could come up with?”

“Brother, please, don’t do this.”  Ian moved to stand between you and…his brother?  He’d never mentioned having a brother.

“You were supposed to eradicate the threat, not form relations with them.”  The man eyed you over Ian’s shoulder.  “Where are the others?”

“Others?” Nothing about this was making sense.

“Why yes.  The others in your group.”

“What group?  Ian–”

“You’re here for the angel blade?  Take it.  Just leave ______ out of this.”

An angel.  Of course.  The suit and the way he spoke should have clued you in.  You must have gotten soft with all this fancy living.  But what had Ian called him…oh, right…

“Brother?  You–you’re a fucking angel?!?!”

“You didn’t know?”  The angel looked at you before turning back to Ian.  “Michael was right in sending you, Balthazar, if you were able to go this long without being detected.”

“Michael?  You’re working for–fuck!”  You yanked the blade out, ready to fight.  “You want it?  Come and get it.”

Ian–Balthazar turned to face you.  “______, don’t.  Please.”

“All this time–all this time I thought…and you were an angel.  You sick son of a bitch.  You made me think you loved me.  Made me think I loved you.  And all this time, you were one of them.”

“I do love you.”  You rolled your eyes.  “And I wanted to tell you.  So many times.  But I just didn’t think you’d be able to get past what happened to Macy.”  He turned back to his brother.  “You want an angel blade?”  One immediately fell from his sleeve.  “Take mine.”  He thrust the blade at the other angel.  “Take it and go.”

“Baltha–”

“And you tell Michael he is going to have to answer a few questions I have for him.”

“You have no place, making demands of Michael.”

Suddenly, he was in the other angel’s face.  “He had a daughter, and he let her die.  Michael is no more holier than any one of us.”  You’d never seen Ia–Balthazar that angry before and you felt yourself cower along with the other angel.  “Go.  And any other angel that comes for ______’s blade will have to go through me to get it.”

A few beats of silence passed before the other angel nodded and disappeared.  With a heavy sigh, Balthazar turned and faced you, fear etched in his features.

“How do I even begin to apologize for what I’ve done?”

“You were sent here to kill me.”  It wasn’t a question, but he nodded anyway.  “Everything from the night we met to now, it was all just a scam.”

“No.”

“You are a fucking angel.  You hid that from me.”  You growled.  There really weren’t words to describe the agony you were in.  How did betrayal have such a physical pain to it?  “This was all some sort of elaborate set-up to ‘eradicate’ me.”  You flipped the blade in your hand and thrust it, hilt first, towards him.  “Do it.”

“______–”

“Just fucking do it, _Balthazar_.  End it.  There’s no way it could hurt worse than what you’ve already done to me.”

He took the blade and flung it down to the floor.  “I love you, ______.  Even if Michael himself came right now, hordes of heaven behind him, there’s no way I could hurt you.”

“You already have.”  

The two of you stared at each other in silence for a while.

“Yes, I was sent to kill the group of humans with the angel blade.  I staged the car jacking because I knew you were part of the group.  I needed to get you to get me into the group.  I was going to use you and then take you out with the rest of them.  But then you handed me your phone.  Just something about you–I knew right then and there that I had to make sure you stayed safe, no matter what.  I followed you when you went after that vampire.  But then that demon showed up–and you were still by yourself.  I thought the rest of your group should have been there by that point, but it was just you, and you killed that demon like it was something you did every day.  I needed to learn more about you.  Needed to figure out why you were working alone and with an angel blade.  I honestly never expected you to show up at my hotel room.  Asking you to come had been me grasping at straws, not sure how I was going to arrange our next meeting without it looking too suspicious.”

You didn’t want to hear this.  Most of you didn’t.  A small part of you–the part of your heart that hadn’t completely shattered, wanted to listen to what he had to say.  That small part needed to know it hadn’t all been a scam.

“But you came, and you told me everything.  When you showed me what those other angels did to you…I knew there was no way I was turning you in.  And then when you told me Macy had been Michael’s daughter–______, I don’t know how to make this right.  I know I lied about a lot of things, but I never lied about loving you.  I never meant to hurt you.”  He reached for your hands.  “Tell me what I can do to fix this.”

You looked over his face.  He looked so sincere, sounded like he meant every word he’d said.  Fuck, you wanted to believe him.  But you couldn’t.  He was an angel.  An angel that had been sent to kill you.  

He’d lied, about so much.  And even if he’d been honest about loving you, your whole relationship with him was based on this twisted deception, even the love.  That was probably what hurt the most–all of his lies had flowed so easily from his lips.  This could just be another part of it.  This could all just be another part of his dishonesty.  


“I don’t know if you can.”  You sucked in a deep breath.  You needed to get away, get some distance.  Maybe then you could begin to sort through the chaos that had taken over your brain.  “I think I should go.”

“No.  I will.”  You shrugged and pulled your hands from his.  “I’m truly sorry, ______.”  And he was gone.

  


  


Four weeks later…

  


You blinked back your tears as you sat up in bed.  Every morning was the same.  You woke up reaching for a man who wouldn’t be there–a man that never actually existed.  You might have even been able to convince yourself you’d imagined it all, except for the angel warding Balthazar had put up on the walls one night while you’d been asleep.

Dragging yourself out of your cocoon, you heard your phone buzz.  You elected to ignore it–Balthazar had respected your wishes for no contact, and the only people who knew your number were other hunters.  Your heart just wasn’t into hunting anymore.  No, the pieces of that were still with the angel who’d broken it.

Your phone buzzed again, and again.  After the fifth call, you snatched it up.

“What?” You snapped.

“______?”  You didn’t recognize the number or the voice.

“Yeah?”  

“My name is Castiel.  I have been directed to not tell you that I’m an angel of the Lord.”  You could hear shouting in the background.  “Oh, right.  I mean, I am calling about a hunting matter.  Because I’m a hunter.  Not an angel.”

“Alright, hunter-not-angel Castiel.  What do you want?”

“My broth–friend, uh, Bal–I am trying.  I do not understand why I need to lie.  But isn’t lying how you wound up in this mess to begin with?”  He seemed to be talking to someone else, but his voice was still loud and clear in your ear.

“May I please speak to Balthazar?”  That name still felt funny on your lips, but the sound of it–yeah, it fit him better than Ian.

“Yes.”

“______?” Balthazar sounded nervous.

“Why?”

“Why what?  Why am I calling?  Why did I lie?  Why do I love you?”  He gave you no chance to answer.  “I’m calling because I need to make sure you’re alright.  I lied because I foolishly thought I needed to follow the orders I’d been given.  You are more important to me than any orders I’ve ever been given.  And I love you because…because you are the first, last, and only thing I’ve ever wanted to give up being an angel for.  Because you are always in my thoughts and I still find myself making decisions based on what you would want.  Because it’s been four weeks and I want to smite myself for ever causing you any sort of pain.  I love you because–”

“I miss you.” You admitted quietly, cutting off his declaration.

And it was the truth.  You missed his laugh and how he loved to tease you when you woke up grumpy.  You missed how he would butcher Shakespeare and watch your favorite movies with you after a long hunt.  You missed how safe he made you feel, even though you’d always thought you’d been the more experienced warrior.

You heard a sound of surprise escape from him.  “I can make it up to you.  Just tell me–anything–anything I can do to make it up to you.”

“Maybe we can start with breakfast?  See where we go from there?”

He sighed in relief.  “Sounds perfect.”


End file.
